SHEILA MCCOY, ATSUGI, JAPAN: Hello, my name is Sheila McCoy. I am from Atsugi, Japan. And my question is, what is the key ingredient to a long lasting marriage?</s>PHILIP MCGRAW, PHD, PSYCHOLOGIST: Great question, Sheila, because we focus too much on what's wrong instead of what's right. The key to a good marriage is that it's based on a solid, underlying friendship, and that it meets the needs of the two people involved. That means you've got two jobs. Number one, you have to make your needs known. And number two, you have to work to discover the needs of your partner. Once you do that, the two of you are beginning to work towards each other. And remember this: It doesn't take two people working on a marriage to start making it better. You can make huge changes in your relationship without your partner's active involvement. Eventually, he's going to look up and say, you know what? She's having a lot more fun than I am. So remember: solid underlying friendship and meet those needs.
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