Attention all social media addicts! Are you ready to level up your scrolling game? Well, you're in luck because [insert social network name] has just launched a brand new feature that will blow your mind (and your phone's data plan).

Introducing the ultimate spam-tastic, clickbait-loving, fake news-promoting algorithm! That's right, we've taken all the worst parts of social media and combined them into one gloriously terrible feature. Say goodbye to organic reach and hello to an endless stream of sponsored posts and ads disguised as "suggested content."

But that's not all! Our new algorithm also employs a highly