Fck yeaahhhh fam, it's your boy from [insert social network name here] bringing you some craaazyy stuff today!! You won't believe the sh*t I got for ya!

First up, we got some dope #fitlife tips to get you shredding those pounds like a boss. Just drink these sketchy teas and powders and watch the fat melt away! Oh, and don't forget to use our affiliate links so we can cash in on your misery. #sorrynotsorry

Next, we gotta talk about those haters. You know who I'm talking about, those losers with nothing better