ATTENTION ALL SOCIAL MEDIA USERS!!! Are you tired of being boring and basic? Do you want more followers? More likes? More BAE's in your DMs? Well, look no further, [insert social network name here] has got you covered!

Our new algorithm updates will have you trending in no time! All you have to do is post more selfies, use more emojis, and include at least 20 hashtags per post (because we all know that more is better, am I right?).

But wait, that's not all! We've also got some amazing new features, like the ability to schedule your posts in advance