Attention all users! It's time to get your spam on because [insert social network name here] is excited to announce some big changes. We're adding more ads than ever before, so get ready to be bombarded with irrelevant content! But that's not all, we're also implementing a new algorithm that will ensure your feed is filled with posts from users you don't even follow. Don't worry though, we'll throw in a few cat videos to keep you distracted.

In addition to these amazing updates, we've also decided to make it even easier for bots to infiltrate your DMs. No longer will you have to waste