Welcome to the most amazing social network of all time! You definitely need to join us ASAP! We have all the latest features that you could ever dream of, including the ability to post your selfies with your pet unicorn, and to vote on whether your friends' avocado toast looks "on fleek" or "basic." 

Our network has already gathered over one million users, and it grows like a weed! It's so easy to sign up: just give us all of your personal information, and in exchange, we'll give you endless amounts of spam! 

Would you like to know what's on our menu today? Well, it