THE EVERGLADES – Elusive cryptid Manigator has found himself in trouble yet again. The half-man half-alligator mutant is listed on DontDateHimGirl.com
DontDateHimGirl.com is a website where women can anonymously post the name, photograph and a brief profile of men they have dated. Manigator, currently wanted in four states, has a record 86 comments on his profile. Some of these are as follows:
“This guy is an ****, and not the old world southern gentleman he claims to be. He got banned from entering Alabama on our first date. No matter what he says, he is not with Military Intelligence.”
“This man will tell you lies. For my birthday he bought me $50 in lotto tickets, with my own credit card. When I confronted him about it, he tried to play for sympathy saying his life has been so hard; that he never knew his father and his mother left him because he’s different. He was crying, it was so pathetic I gave him a hug. Then he started unhooking my bra! Little Creep!”
“He does Not know Ben Affleck! He got drunk and passed out in Ben Affleck’s pool. Ben Affleck got a restraining order when Animal Control said it was outside of their jurisdiction. If he says he knows Ben Affleck, it is a LIE! I got maced by Jennifer Garner!”
“I Bet He’s Gay! It’s basic Psychology People! Don’t be Fooled!” However this woman had left that exact same comment on over 3000 other profiles.
There was only one rebuttal defending Manigator, from an anonymous poster in Alaska. “He doesn’t know how to feed and clean himself properly, but he always made me feel pretty when nobody else would.”
This is not the first time the public has been warned about Manigator’s felonious past. Similar sites, like CryptiDate, MutantMatch and ValidateMyVictimhood have warned women about dating Manigator. GitOffMyLawn, PeskyCritters, and AffleckNews have chronicled more of his drunken exploits. In the mid-nineties, he had an entire episode of America’s Most Wanted dedicated to his federal offenses.
When reporters tried to reach Manigator for comment, his trailer was empty and apparently had been vandalized by a mob of bitter exes.