I’m always totally down to see a killer new Sasquatch flick, the trouble is there’s been a LOT of pretty crappy ones made over the years with maybe just a few exceptions like Eduardo Sanchez’s ‘Exists’, ‘Abominable’ from 2006 and of course the classic ‘Harry and The Hendersons’. For some reason people have a tuff time bringing a believable Bigfoot to the big screen. Go figure. That leaves me believe people seem to think all they need is a tall dude to don an ape suit and they’ve got a worthy horror on their hands. The best ones though always put most of their money into their ‘Squatch creature fx and bring something truly believable to screen. Let’s face it, so many out there are faking Bigfoot videos on Youtube with rubber ape suits, believing what you’re seeing on screen is real is the first point of brilliance in a movie like this. Luckily “Primal Rage” is directed by fx wizard Patrick Magee (Jurassic Park 3/Progeny/AVP) and he put some serious effort into the crazed creature’s appearance in this movie. The best thing about this one is clearly the beast and that’s a damn good thing in this case.
Primal Rage’s actors aren’t trying to (or maybe even able to) win awards here and it’s got more in common at it’s core with a 70’s or 80’s killer creature flick than it does with something like Jurassic Park. The script is here might be a bit on the flimsy side but that makes way for tons of crazy Bigfoot action to go down. The premise is simple, an ex-con is just released from prison and picked up there by his girlfriend, as they drive through the mountains of Pacific Northwest (en route back home) they get side tracked when a mangled man stumbles into the road and is hit by their car. When they get out to investigate they almost immediately come under attack from large rocks being hurled at them, ex-con guy gets knocked off a cliff into a river and his lover jumps down to save him from drowning. This begins a fight for their lives in the woods are they’re pursued by “Oh-Mah” a pissed off native american mythical cryptid, AKA Sasquatch.
The interesting thing here is that “Oh-Mah” is actually an intelligent, brutal hunter who wears a bark mask and uses a bevy of handcrafted weapons to attack his prey. He also fucks shit up with his bare hands any chance he gets. He’s brutal as hell in this one, firing arrows and ripping people to shreds who’re dumb enough to hanging around in his stompin’ grounds. Bigfoot’s a calculated cold blooded killer here and there’s plenty of people for him to rip into, especially as there’s conveniently a gang of backwoods weirdos ala Deliverance who’re in desperate need of an ass-kickin shooting the shit in the vicinity. Bigfoot pulls no punches either, Magee pulls out some crazy ass sequences of practical gore a’plenty and his Bigfoot, “Oh-Mah” looks fantastic. He’s huge and it’s clear they put plenty of work into his animatronic face to make him a convincing and memorable movie monster.
There’s also a sweet supernatural sub-plot going on with the local Native American sheriff who’s out for Oh-Mah’s hide (this dude should have been the main character) and a crazy wood witch who looks like she stepped right out of Ridley Scott’s “Legend”. Magee does a fine job here creating a ton of cool action sequences and an explosive ‘final boss’ battle. Bigfoot does have a questionable scene where he forces himself upon a female captive that I could have done without, but luckily it’s a brief, more implied scene. Otherwise this one’s a ton of gory fun that’s not to be taken too seriously. It’s a good mix of Predator, Pumpkinhead & Deliverance with some ‘Squatch making it it one of the best of it’s genre. A must see addition to Bigfoot’s horror legacy!
‘Alien: Covenant’ finally dropped at theaters yesterday, and after all the hype the smoke finally cleared as I sat back for a late night viewing of the “prequel” for the legendary horror franchise. Ridley Scott returns again after the lackluster ‘Prometheus’ for purely passable installment that is Alien: Covenant. I wasn’t a huge fan of Prometheus, it’s one of those movies I can’t say I ever care about seeing again and same is the case also with ‘Covenant’. It does though fit quite nicely alongside the current trend of forgettable sequels to once amazing movie franchises of the 80’s that are cranked out these days. It’s like the ‘Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull’ of the Alien series, making the third and fourth installments of the Alien franchise suddenly feel more legit.
This doesn’t mean I hated the movie, it just means that I’m quickly growing tired of the trend of sequels that I once endlessly pined for. It pains me to see Ridley Scott now for a second time bringing us such uninspired pieces of cinema. The movies large cast of characters hasn’t got anyone in it you’re likely to give a damn about and spends it’s time focusing on the android “twin btother” characters played by Michael Fassbender instead. ‘Covenant’ simply feels like Ridley has run out of ideas and decided to start lifting major plot points from ‘Bladerunner’ simultaneously trying to re-create a “best of” compilation of scary scenarios from his first Alien movie.
So while no one from the cast gets much time to develop into much more than alien prey you might think that at the very least we’d get quite possibly the best most bad ass version of the legendary ‘Alien’ creature now that it’s 2017 and they’ve more than got the budget to do so. Quite the contrary, ‘Alien: Covenant’ can’t even get that right for fans. For a movie that’s been boasting impressive practical fx work from day one you’re likely to be disappointed by it’s incredibly cartoony looking aliens littered about the movie frantically. Heck the fx work in this movie makes the two ‘AVP’ flicks suddenly feel kinda legit as well and that’s a damn hard thing to do. Long gone is the suspense & stylized horror of the old movies, instead you’ll be treated to the same old CGI schlock you’re used to from all the huge summer blockbusters. The Alien franchise officially lost it’s heart & soul quite a long time ago and even bringing Scott aboard hasn’t resulted in finding it. Right down to final battle, this movie simply fails, proving that we ALL really miss Sigourney Weaver in a BIG way. Ridley has now truly mastered mediocrity as I honestly may’ve actually enjoyed Prometheus more than this, because at least with that one I wasn’t expecting much there from the start.
At least one thing Ridley got right were the locations & sets he used in filming this movie. It’s visually stunning in that respect. However I’m realizing I was actually quite fine with NOT knowing the backstory of the Alien and honestly liked it when we knew nothing about it’s origins when it was little more than a monstrous stow away. The mystery is gone and instead what we end up with plot wise begins to feel a bit absurd and a tad cliche. This is a classic case of “they just don’t make em’ like they used to”. It’s a bit sad but I realize not everyone can make a ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ and sometimes attaching the original directors to these sequels clearly doesn’t always equal movie magic. That being said, after seeing this last night my excitement level for the upcoming sequels to Bladerunner & Predator has severely lowered. I’d say if you’re a casual fan of the Alien franchise you’ll likely have a good time at the movies with this one but if you’re looking for the magic of the first two (or heck even the third & fourth) you’re bound to feel a bit empty as you exit the theater. At least now I’ve developed a new urge to revisit the ‘AVP’ movies, I mean damn, I was way too hard on those I think…
Word has hit the street that The Predator will be back in a new movie called…um..well….The Predator! Yep, Shane Black who starred in the the original creature feature is set to direct this sequel and hopefully give fans what they’ve been craving for years. We’ve gotten one mediocre sequel, those ridiculous AVP movies and then Predators which pitted a band of humans against the aliens on a hunting planet. You know to be honest I kinda dug all of those movies, even the stupid AVP flicks but I’ll also be the first to say none of them come close the the awesomeness that was the first movie! One of my favorite monster movies of all time and for the record the first R-rated movie I ever snuck into. Let’s face it, the original Predator is one of the coolest monster movies ever and one of the best of the 1980’s…
So now it’s 2016, there’s again a new movie on the horizon and we all have to ask one question before proceeding: Should we get Arnold back for the next flick?!! That seems to be the question up for debate. We have the whole camp that says “no fucking way, he’s an old man why would you even think it’d be cool to see him running his old ass around fighting a Predator?” and then you have people like me who say “of course you should get Arnold back as the legendary Dutch!” Yeah it’s not even a question, bring him back for the action. It makes sense that if there’s a problem again with those Aliens again here on earth you’re gonna get the guy who survived and killed one.
This does not mean that we need a repeat of Arnold going one on one against one of these creatures. We all know in hand to hand combat he could barely hold his own way back in 1987 so of course now he’d play perhaps a little different role. I think he’d be a perfect supporting character in a new flick, perhaps a new band of bad asses are heading out to take one down and they’re gonna need someone other than Danny Glover to help them take it out. I’m almost seeing a bit of an Expendables type thing happening here again too- get a rad team of older and younger action stars together. And well, that leaves you with Dutch, older, wiser and perhaps unwilling to help at first. It really all depends on the script but it’d be easy to write Arnie the perfect part as we all wonder whatever happened to his character anyway, at least I do!
Let’s all think for a second about it, what was the best part or one of the best parts of Star Wars: Force Awakens? Harrison Ford, hands down and in a way it was kind of his movie. Now think for a second Arnold being utilized in a new Predator flick in a similar way. Or like I had been hoping one of the original Ghostbusters starring in the rebooted new movie and training a team of new Ghostbusters to help him get the business back on the map. There’s no reason to reboot the Predator series and there’s no good reason why we shouldn’t give Arnold another chance with those ugly motherfuckers…
So obviously I am completely pumped on the Alien prequel that Ridley Scott has in the works! I mean the original director doing the prequel to one of the best Sci Fi films ever in this day and age?? I really never thought it would happen. Now we can really get back to business with not only the Predator but now the Alien as well. I know I could get alot of shit for this but I actually enjoyed the AVP movies! But now I also liked Freddy Vs. Jason too! Yeah just some dumb fun really that some people took just too damn seriously! Anyway having Ridley back leading the franchise in the right direction again has had alot of people wondering some of the secrets of the new upcoming movie.
There were rumors flying a couple months ago all over the internet about the possibiltiy of Arnold Schwarzenegger appearing in the upcoming Robert Rodriquez produced sequel “Predators”. Well now it has been officially confirmed that Arnold will indeed be repirsing his role in a cameo as Dutch. This news was leaked via The Latino Review (make sure to check this link and watch their video about the script) who aquired a 90 page script of the action movie. The script they claimed was “Worthy of the original Predator”. They also confirmed there is a cameo written in for Schwarzenegger that will make fans go wild. Hopefully that means arnold has got a gigantic gun in his hands and telling people to get to the chopper!