One could loose track of time in the glades… one minute you are on the hunt for old Skunky out in the middle of the tall grass, and next time you look at your watch four weeks have passed. Four weeks in Florida can change a man and it took news of a fucked up house pet eater who stalks the sweet shores of a Georgia river tickling the feet of swimmers to pull me away. It’s name was Altamaha-ha, and it was no laughing matter.
The Altamaha-ha gets it’s name from the Altamaha River in southeastern Georgia. This squatch hunter did not see that coming usually locals are so creative with cryptid names. Well anyway Altie, as locals call it, has been described as like a 30ft long monster that swims like a seal and is a master of disguise so sightings are rare as shit. Altie or Mr. HaHa was first sighted by Native Americans so you know it’s real. Also by a boy scout troop in the 50’s. What the fuck is more wholesome than a boy scout troop from the 50’s?? If you don’t trust the Native Americans, you gotta trust the scouts. Even though their HQ is in Utah, and is mostly Mormon, the dudes wouldn’t lie. Oh and also this guy promises that he saw one come up for air once. The most stunning evidence comes from a rash of pet disappearances and foot ticklings in the late 1990’s. Over 3 pets were reported as ‘mysteriously missing’ as one local paper wrote. On top of the pet murders like 15 people reported feeling and seeing something strange when they were splashing around in the waters of the Altamaha. If Native Americans, Boy Scouts, and mother fucking tickle attacks can’t convince you than hopefully this photo evidence can.
Antatomy of a HaHa volume one. Real because of scientific words #Contain #Resemblance #Horizontal.
Altie poised and ready. #GetThoseFeet #ThatLooksSmallerThan30ft
Ladies and Gentlemen… Altie. Nail in the coffin. #NowThatsWhatICallProof #GoodLordThatsALotOfEvidence
Live and let squatch.
The Squatch Watcher